Secrets and Monsters

(Source: internal-acceptance-movement)

Today has been such a day of realization for me. Being around Katie after school was just horrible and it was because she was being so negative and angry and yelling at everyone and complaining about everything, and I realized that that’s pretty much how I always act, and how annoying it must be for people around me. This whole week I’ve been feeling good and happy and positive, and it’s such a great feeling. And this is pretty much just because the past few days I’ve been making an effort to think positively about life and the world, and it’s made such a huge difference. 

Katie was yelling at other cars when she made driving mistakes, and I’m not really in a position to criticize because I’m a pretty angry driver, but I feel like I don’t yell at everyone who drives past me or near me. She would cut in front of people and make turns wrong and get in other people’s way and just yell at them for being such idiots and I really wanted to tell her to just BE QUIET. 

Also, it was my day for Know Thy Neighbor, and she would NOT stop adding things into my presentation. I was getting so frustrated. It was MY know thy neighbor, not Katie’s. Hers is tomorrow. And then she can tell us all about her relatives with heavy scottish accents and travelling to scotland and all the wonderful, important, high powered people her parents know and all the places where her family has friends and all the ridiculous name dropping she does, even though no one knows any of the people she name drops because it’s always people who are friends with her parents. I don’t understand why she feels the need to tell such personal stories in every class. Like the other day when she actually was mad in Eastern because Mr. Ludwig was just trying to go on with his lesson plan and wouldn’t stop talking about the CLASS TOPIC to let her interject with some story that really didn’t matter to what we were talking about. She just needs to have all attention on her, even when we’re in class and the attention is supposed to be on the teacher and the subject at hand. I can’t even imagine myself doing that. I have no desire to share personal stories with people in my classes, especially in the middle of class when they only vaguely relate to what we’re talking about. I know the other people in the class won’t care, and the teacher probably won’t care either, so I’ll keep the story to myself and if I think it’s really good, I’ll tell my friends or something. There is no reason for the attention to always be on me, I’m not the center of the universe. And neither is Katie, but apparently somewhere along the way someone taught her that she was, and she just can’t let it go. I’m so sick of it. It doesn’t help that I have 4 classes with her. I’m so glad we only have 4 real class days left or I would have to strangle the bitch.